


The Watcher

by jumble_of_fandoms



Category: Shameless (US), gallavich - Fandom
Genre: M/M, after 4x12
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-27
Updated: 2015-07-22
Packaged: 2018-01-20 22:53:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1528694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jumble_of_fandoms/pseuds/jumble_of_fandoms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ian has been feeling good enough to go back to work and get his life on track. However, one night Mickey has to watch the baby and doesn't go with Ian. While this isn't the first time this has happened, it's the first time that Ian has come home bloody and beaten in the morning. Mickey realizes that he has lost count of how many months it has been and realizes that Terry has come home and apparently gone after the man he cares for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I am not trying to say I understand anything about Bi-polar issues. If I make a mistake or do something wrong, it is not out of spite. If there is an issue, I would appreciate being let know in a calmly manner because it is a genuine mistake and not meant to be harmful.

Mickey stepped out onto the front porch of the Gallagher house, taking out a cigarette and breathing in the chilly morning air. Lighting the cig, he inhaled deeply, letting the smoke burn before blowing it back out. Living at the Gallagher home had been easier than he originally imagined. It was chaotic at all hours of the day, but it was a more controlled chaos than he had ever seen. He had even started to help chip in money for food and bills without being asked. Least he could do since he was always eating their food.

Leaning against the railing, Mickey sighed. Waking up this morning had been strange without Ian by his side. He helped Fiona get the younger kids out the door this morning, but Ian was constantly on his mind. Mickey hadn’t been able to go to Boys Town with Ian last night because he had to baby sit the baby. Svetlana was sick again and dumped Yevgeny on him last minute. This wasn’t the first time it had happened, but Ian usually made it home at a decent hour.

Normally, it wouldn’t have bothered Mickey either, but since they had finally gotten Ian regulated… Mickey touched the pill bottle in his pocket, knowing that there was one more in there than there should be this morning…

Mickey flicked his cigarette aside and started to walk back into the house to help Lip clean up after breakfast before he left for the day. He started to open the door when a big SUV pulled up in front of the house.

“The fuck…” Mickey mumbled, his hand still on the doorknob, turned a bit to look at the car, an uneasy feeling settling into his stomach. It was too nice of a car with too dark a tint on the windows for his liking. Mickey started to walk off of the porch, but only went as far as the gate at the end of the yard.

“The fuck you want?” Mickey yelled at the closed windows.

A door on the other side of the car opened up and he heard a thump before the slam of the door being shut again. Mickey took a step as the car sped off and he was left staring at an un-moving figure on the ground.

A shock of red hair was all Mickey took in before running over to the body in the road. “Ian, what’s going..”    

Mickey stopped as he took in what he was seeing. Ian’s face was battered and bloody, his coat torn and open, revealing that the only thing Ian had on underneath were his work shorts.

That wasn’t what caught Mickey’s eye though.

Thin red lines were slowly weeping blood covered Ian’s chest and shoulders. Mickey, hands trembling, reached out to touch Ian’s face.

“Firecrotch…?” he whispered. “Ian?” This time a little louder and before he knew it, he was screaming for Fiona and Lip.

Lip came rushing out of the house and saw what looked like his younger brother laying in the road being shook by Mickey. Running to Mickey’s side, he stopped dead in his tracks, staring at his brother. Fiona came running out as well and instead of stopping, bent down and started to see if Ian was breathing.

“I.. I don’t know… They just pulled u-up and s-shoved-d him out…” Mickey stammered as Fiona started pulling out her phone. He was vaguely aware that she was telling him to help Lip carry Ian into the house and telling Veronica to come over immediately all at the same time.

Lip and Mickey managed to get Ian into the house and lay him on the coffee table that had recently been cleared off.

“Mickey, help me get his coat off.” Lip said, already trying to pull it off. When Mickey didn’t move, Lip looked up, about to repeat his sentence when he saw the look on Mickey’s face. Lip realized that Mickey was still mumbling about not knowing what was happening and he had flash backs to the last time there had been blood all over the place in the house. Monica laying in a pool of her own blood and Frank standing there not doing anything.

Mickey’s face was a mirror image of the older man’s and Lip stood up to grab him by the shoulders.

“Mickey, I need your help man,” Lip said as calmly as he could manage. “I can’t do this by myself. You hear me?” He shook Mickey a little bit, getting him to look him in the eye. “He’s going to be ok, man. But you gotta help him first.”

Lip’s words seemed to be getting through to Mickey and he nodded before leaning down to Ian’s side. He helped Lip to sit him up while they slowly pulled away what was left of the puffy coat. The front door banged open as Fiona, Kevin, and Veronica came crashing into the cramped living room.

Fiona came over, noticing the look on Mickey’s face as well, and gently lead him away to give Veronica room. She put her hand on the side of his head, making him look her in the eye. “It’s going to be ok, Mickey. After everything you two have been through, there’s no way it couldn’t be.” She told him softly.

“Fi, he’s messed up bad…” Veronica said over to her shoulder. Mickey twitched under Fiona’s hand as he registered what was being said. “He’s lost a lot of blood and these cuts are going to get infected if we don’t get them washed soon. Even if they do get washed, there’s still a really good chance that they will get infected.”

Every sentence made Mickey twitch, his eyes getting farther away.

“Lip, help Kevin get him up the stairs and into the tub.” Fiona instructed, looking at Kevin who nodded.

“Hold on guys, don’t move him just yet,” Veronica said before the guys could reach for Ian. “There’s something we gotta do first…” She pointed at Ian’s arm and it seemed that everyone collectively noticed that it was hanging at the wrong angle.

“Shit…” Kevin muttered. Ian’s shoulder was out of place and needed to be popped back in.

“I-I can’t do that.” Lip stuttered. “There’s no way I-I can put that back.” He looked up at Kevin who rubbed his hand over his face.

“I’ll get it…” Fiona jumped as she heard the voice next to her.

Mickey pulled away from her hand and went to sit next to Ian. “Kev, hold him up.” Kevin got behind Ian and got him into a sitting up position. “Hold on tight… He’s going to jerk…”

Grabbing Ian’s upper arm with his left hand, Mickey placed his palm against Ian’s shoulder, feeling around until he found the ball. “On three.” He seemed to be saying it to himself more than Kevin, but Kevin braced himself anyways.

A deep breath. A sigh. “One.”

_Crack!_

Ian threw his head back, hips bucking as he screamed, the first noise he’s made since being dumped. “I thought you said on three!” Kevin yelled, trying to hold Ian.

Mickey reached out and grabbed Ian’s face in his hands, running his fingers through his hair. “Hey, you’re alright,” he whispered to the younger man. As he kept whispering to Ian, Ian started to calm down, his screams dying away. His breathing slowed and he looked at Mickey long enough to see who was touching him.

“Jerk…” he whispered, a smile tugging at his lips, before his head slumped over and he passed out again.

Fiona went over and gently pulled Mickey away from Ian, giving Lip room to pick him up. “I’m guessing you’ve done that a lot, huh?” Fiona asked, trying to get Mickey to think of something other than what was in front of him. Mickey nodded his head, his eyes following Ian’s body up the stairs.

She started to lead Mickey into the kitchen, but felt him pull away and watched him follow Lip and Kevin up the stairs.

Mickey watched as Ian was placed into the tub and silently pushed his way past Kevin and Lip until he was standing next to the tub. Wordlessly, he turned the water on, making sure it wasn’t spraying on Ian as it warmed up and pulled his shirt over his head. Kevin and Lip walked into the hallway as they realized what Mickey was going to do and decided that it would be better for him to wash Ian off.

Jeans and shirt on the floor next to the tub, Mickey climbed in behind Ian, letting his head rest on his chest as he grabbed a soft cloth on the sink. He wet the cloth and slowly started to wash the blood off of Ian’s chest.

The water ran red around them, but Mickey did not notice. He just kept slowly wiping away the blood until each and every cut was visible. Once Mickey got down to Ian’s hips, his hand trembled again as he realized that the cuts continued down under the shorts.

“Hey, bring me a pair of scissors, would ya?” He asked Lip.

Both Kevin and Lip walked away to head back downstairs to find a pair. Mickey washed the cuts that he could reach, trying not to think about whatever was under those shorts. Lip soon came back, scissors in hand. He handed them to Mickey before walking back out of the room.

“Don’t need to see my brother’s junk.” He threw back over his shoulder, trying to get some reaction out of Mickey, even a negative one. Anything was better than what Mickey was doing now, but nothing followed him out of the room except the snipping sounds of scissors through fabric. Lip sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

“We really don’t need to bi-polars…”He mumbled, and immediately regretted it. Thankfully no one was around to hear what he just said. He leaned against the wall, waiting to be needed again, but not really wanting to be downstairs with everyone else running around gathering supplies.

The shorts fell away easily under the scissors in Mickey’s hand. His mind blocked out the sights in front of him, already to numb to handle what he was seeing. Instead, he just kept washing the blood away, but now he was mumbling as well.

“Hey kid… Remember the… You had a tire iron…. I got shot… Why did you leave me… Ian…” Mickey’s sentences were broken and didn’t really make sense, but he kept talking, occasionally stopping as if he forgot what he was going to say.

Once all the cuts were washed, he turned off the water and just held Ian in both of his arms until Lip came back in. When Mickey looked up at him, Lip was startled at how red Mickey’s eyes were and noticed the tear tracks down his cheeks. Lip was surprised, but didn’t say anything as he grabbed a towel and handed it to Mickey.

Mickey carefully wrapped Ian in the towel, trying to keep it clean but knowing that it was impossible.

“It’s ok Mickey,” Lip told him, reaching down to help. “We can always get new towels.” Lip wrapped Ian tightly as blood started to weep from the wounds again. “Help me carry him?” He asked Mickey.

Mickey nodded his head and started to stand in the tub. Lip lifted Ian’s legs and Mickey lift from under the arms. They carried him to Ian’s room and laid him on the bed. It used to be Lip’s room, but he had been staying in the dorm most nights, so Ian and Mickey had moved into the room.  
They stretched Ian out on the bed and Lip left to go get Veronica to come do what she needed to do now that the cuts were clean. While he was gone, Mickey climbed into the bed with Ian and pulled him so Ian’s head was laying on his chest. Mickey ran his fingers through his orange hair as unnoticed tears slide down his face onto Ian’s hair.  
“Mickey,” Veronica’s voice startled Mickey and he jumped a little. “Sorry, didn’t mean to do that. Is it ok if I bandage him up now?” She asked, waiting for his approval. She already had it from Fiona, and that was all that mattered in the end, but she knew how much Mickey cared for Ian. Over the last few months (after the shock of the two of them being together at all), she watched as Mickey cared for Ian through his depression and she knew how much they cared for each other.

Mickey nodded his head and watched as Veronica reached for a cloth to wipe the blood away, a few cuts at a time. When they were clear, she poured some rubbing alcohol on them to clear away any bacteria. Mickey held on to Ian tighter as he started to twitch and jerk, not wanting him to get in the way of what Veronica was doing. Once she had a decent area cleared, Mickey sat Ian up and held him as she started to wrap the gauze around his body. The routine continued until Ian was almost covered in gauze and the sheets were soaked with the alcohol.

When Veronica got to Ian’s hips, Mickey noticed her back go rigid for a moment as she got to the area that Mickey had previously blocked out in his mind. He watched as she cleaned the cuts on his thighs, having to hold on tighter than ever to Ian. The cuts were deepest on his thighs, something that worried Mickey. They were probably going to need stiches…

“Mickey.?” Veronica was looking up at Mickey, a gauze pad in her hand. “Do you know anything that might have happened to him?” Veronica was trying to get Mickey to talk, unable to watch his face set the way it was any longer.

He shook his head, eyes lost. “No..” His voice broke and he tried again. “No, he uh.. He didn’t come home from work last night. It-t’s not the first time that that’s happened, so I uh.. I didn’t think much of it…” Mickey watched as Veronica tried to get the cuts on Ian’s thighs to stop bleeding and vaguely heard her call for Kevin over her shoulder and something about a bag… He couldn’t stop talking though and recounted what happened while he was smoking.

Just as Mickey finished, Kevin walked into the room carrying a bag with needles and what looked like thread it in.

“Jesus..” He said as he saw the cuts on Ian’s thighs.

“Kev, I need you to get on the other side of the bed and put pressure on the left leg while I stich up the right one. Mickey, if he’s already jerking from the alcohol, he can’t be as far out as I would want him to be. He’s going to feel this and he’s not going to like it.” Mickey just stared at her, trying to piece together what she was saying.

“Do you understand..?” She asked gently. Mickey looked at her, slowly nodding his head and tightened his grip around the younger boy. He shifted Ian until he was laying between his splayed legs and Mickey could be the best grip possible using the wall for support.

It was almost half an hour later when Ian was finally stitched up. Mickey’s arms were sore and his mouth felt dry. I wouldn’t be til days later that he would find out he talked to Ian the entire time, reliving the day he outted himself to everyone in the Alibi room over and over again. Veronica’s eyes were red and bloodshot when she finally finished wrapping Ian up and Kevin led her out of the room for a moment.

Mickey, finally happy he was alone with Ian, even if only for a few moments, buried his face in the younger boys hair and finally relaxed his grip. His body racked with sobs that he had been holding back for what felt like years.

When his breathing evened out and matched Ian’s rhythm, he untangled himself and slowly laid Ian back down on the bed, making sure he had a pillow under his head. He grabbed a blanket that fell to the floor and covered Ian with it before leaving the room. He walked down stairs and into the kitchen where voices that had been speaking moments ago fell silent.

Mickey walked over to the fridge and grabbed a beer, popping the top on the counter on his way back to the table. He sat next to Lip and waited for everyone to start talking again.

When they didn’t he looked up and saw that everyone was looking at him.

“He’s asleep.” He told them.

“You…ok..?” Fiona asked, reaching over and placing her hand on Mickey’s arm. He left it there and took a long pull on the bottle in his hand.

“Been better.”

“Er, Veronica told us what you told her,” Lip started. “Was wondering why he wasn’t at breakfast this morning. Thought he was still asleep…” Lip trailed off.

“I should have told Svetlana to fuck off last night…” Mickey whispered to no one in particular. “I shouldn’t have let him go alone to that fucking place… Too many geriatric viagriods around…” He took another pull and set the bottle on the table. “Ever tell you want happened the first time I went there?”

Before waiting for an answer, Mickey told them how people there slip all kinds of drugs to the dancers. Everyone wants to believe it’s just X, but Mickey knows that there are roofies in the place as well. Fiona’s face visibly paled, but she didn’t say anything. She knew that the only reason Ian still had this job after his break down was because of Mickey.

“Do you know anyone who would want to hurt him, Mickey?” Lip asked.

Mickey was shaking his head as Kevin looked up from his hands that were folded on the table.

“Oh shit..” He whispered.

“What is it baby?” Veronica asked.

Mickey looked over to Kevin and knew instantly. He may not be good at math, but the months seemed to add up in his head all at once. “He got out.”

Three words. Two nods from Kevin. One sentence.

“Fuck…” Mickey shook his head. “Fuck.. No it wasn’t him.. Ian would be dead it if was him! Fuck!” Mickey’s fist slammed on the table and Fiona jumped a little.

“Mickey, didn’t you see.?” Veronica asked, looking over at Kevin who was still staring at Mickey.

“Fucking see what?”

“She’s talking about what was carved into Ian’s thigh.” Kevin replied. “I’m sorry man, I should have let you know. Svetlana was at the bar with him last night and she told him that you really were living here. She told him everything she knew. That’s why you had the baby last night.” Kevin put his head in his hands, leaning over the table. “I should have called and told you.”

“What was carved into Ian’s fucking thighs?” Mickey’s voice was quiet. Calm. Deadly.

“Mickey, I fixed them up as best as I coul-” Veronica started to say.

“What the FUCK was carved into his thighs?” Mickey’s voice was louder now.

Lip sighed and flipped out his phone. “Is anyone going to fucking tell me or-?”

“Here,” Lip tossed the phone down the table.

There was a picture on it of the word FAGGOT carved into someone’s thighs. Ian’s thighs. The thighs that Mickey had placed kisses on and felt the smooth skin beneath his fingers so many times. Fiona reached over and swiped the screen and Ian’s other thigh was now on the screen, the words DEAD MAN sawed into the skin.

“We took pictures so we would have proof later.” Lip whispered.

“Mickey, this will get Terry put away for good.” Mickey was vaguely aware of what everyone was saying, but his head was swimming and his stomach was rolling. Before anyone else could say anything to him, he got up and raced out the door.

Mickey slammed into the wooden railing at the edge of the back porch, his stomach roiling. After releasing a few chocked sobs, he threw his head over the railing and felt the burning sensation in his mouth as his breakfast ejected from his stomach. When there was nothing left in his stomach, he kept heaving, breathing hard as unnoticed tears finally fell from his eyes.

After a few moments, the heaving slowed down and his body quieted enough for him to step back and slide down against the side of the house until he was sitting. He sighed deeply, staring across the yard through the slats in the railing, his breath fogging up in front of him in the cold air.

“Nothing’s impossible, remember Firecrotch?” he whispered to himself. “Nothing is supposed to be fucking impossible anymore…”

They had finally got Ian regulated.

The mood swings had finally stopped.

He was able to go back to work.

And now this?

“How could I have been so fucking stupid!” Mickey yelled out, his head slamming back against the side of the house.

“We were all stupid, man.” Mickey turned to see Lip and Kevin standing out on the porch now. Lip walked over Mickey’s legs to take a seat on the stairs while Kevin handed Mickey a pack of cigarettes and a match.

“Yeah man, it’s not your fault.” Kevin said, looking out over the yard. “Hell, I saw him yesterday and I was stupid enough not to call. All I did was give him a beer and show him a room upstairs.” Kevin sighed as he ran his hand through his hair.

“No one is going to blame you for forgetting about his dumb ass.” Lip looked over at Mickey whose eyes were bloodshot.

“I should have known though. I should have fucking kept track better. I shouldn’t have let him go to fucking work last night. I shou-”

“And you think that would have made a difference?” Lip’s voice rose over Mickey’s.

“The fuck are you trying to say Gallagher?” Mickey yelled back.

“He isn’t trying to say anything Mickey for Christ’s sake!” Kevin snapped. “We’re tryin’ to get it through your thick skull that Terry would have found you eventually and Ian would never have listened to you anyways!”

“He’s happy to be able to work again and there’s no way he would have called off last night, you know that shit head.” Lip said, a smile curling in the corner of his mouth.

Mickey just looked down and rubbed his eyes with his hands. He knew they were right but he couldn’t help but blame himself anyways.

“Besides, we’ve got enough to get him put away for good Mickey.” Lip whispered, finally reaching over and grabbing the pack from Mickey. He pulled a cigarette out and had it lit before Mickey could reply.

“How are we going to be able to do that though…” Mickey mumbled. “They’ll find him if this goes to trial…” Mickey trailed off as he looked at Lip and saw what he was getting at register with Lip. “

“The Army…” Lip started before slamming his fist against the porch.

“But I though he used your information?” Kevin asked.

“Yeah, but they still have his picture. A case like this would go big and they would take him away anyways.” Mickey muttered, having come to that conclusion a long time ago, back when everyone had been talking about putting Ian in the mental hospital. “Why do you think I fought so hard to keep Ian home? They would have found him if we had put him up.” He told the guys, voicing his thoughts.

“Fuck.” Kevin muttered.

The three men sighed and Lip finished his cigarette.

“Well, Fiona will still keep the pictures anyways, so if something ever comes up…” Lip trailed off, knowing it would never happen.

No one said anything for a few minutes until the door opened and Veronica came out.

“Boys, it’s freezing out here. Get your asses inside because if someone gets sick, there’s no way you’re going to run to me!” She chastised. She looked down at Mickey and her face softened. “He’s been saying your name.”

Mickey’s head popped up and he looked up at Veronica expectantly.

“He’s not awake,” Mickey felt the hope he had leave his chest. “But he has been mumbling your name. Go to him. I’ll leave instructions for Fiona for you to look at later. Get your ass upstairs.” Kevin reached his hand down and Mickey grabbed it, his legs shaking slightly and his head still a little woozy.

When he felt steady enough, he let go and nodded his head in thanks to Kevin. Taking a deep breath, he walked past Veronica and back into the Gallagher house. Fiona was still sitting at the table, the phone with the pictures on it between her hands. She looked up as he walked in and he saw tear tracks down her face. She gave him a soft smile before standing up and walking over to Mickey. He let her wrap her arms around him as she gave him a quick squeeze before letting go.

She look at him, a hand on each shoulder. It was the first time Mickey had let anyone other than his sister and Ian to hug him, no matter how quickly and he didn’t know how to respond. Fiona knew he wasn’t used to this kind of thing and so she patted him on the back and walked away to the living room where she curled up on the couch and flipped on the tv.

“Go.” Lip’s voice came softly behind Mickey, encouraging. Mickey tore his eyes away from Fiona and looked at the stairs instead. Taking a deep breath for the millionth time today, he slowly made his way up the stairs and into the bedroom.

Walking into the bedroom was one of the hardest things Mickey had ever done in his young life. The blanket he placed on Ian earlier was pulled up to his shoulders, which meant only his neck and head were showing. Mickey could have sworn Ian’s face looked paler than usual, which was saying something since the kid was pale as fuck anyways. He vaguely remembered Veronica mentioning that Ian had lost a lot of blood…

Mickey sat down on the bed, watching Ian. He put his hand in his pocket and for the second time that day remembered that Ian had yet to take his pills. _We just got him stable.. Everything’s fucked up now…_

Mickey’s back went rigid and his hand curled around the bottle in a fist. All the work he had done, all the time and effort, energy and emotion he put into making Ian better… All gone in one night and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it. He pulled the bottle out and set it with the painkillers that Veronica had placed on the bedside table before leaving. Mickey hoped that Ian would wake up soon so he could give him his pills, but he knew that there was little chance of that.

Lifting up the blanket, Mickey slowly laid down next to Ian, trying not to jostle him too much. He rested his head next to Ian’s and wrapped his fingers in Ian’s cold hand. It seemed like the only spot that was covered in bandages and Mickey held on as tightly as he dared. Looking at Ian’s face, he could see the beginning of a shadow forming over one of Ian’s eyes and knew from experience it would be a colorful bruise in a few hours.

Although he tried as hard as he could, it got harder and harder for Mickey to keep his eyes open. He felt drained of everything and it was not long before he gave in and let himself be dragged into a fitful sleep…

 

 

_“Wake up sleepy head!” I tossed the pillow at Ian, watching as it bounced off of him and landed on the floor. Ian never moved, just kept laying there staring at fuck knows what. “Come on Ian… It’s time to get up.”_

_I walk into the room and hear him mutter something. Climbing on the bed, I try to peer the covers back from Ian. When he doesn’t respond, I leave him be and head over to the Gallagher house to see if Lip is home._

_A few hours later, I’m standing in the kitchen yelling at Fiona, telling her that Ian isn’t going to some fucking mental hospital. He can’t. I need him here. He’ll get taken by the Army._

_There are a million reason why he needs to stay._

_I tell Fiona not to tell me that it’s almost impossible. Nothing is impossible to me anymore. Nothing is going to keep me away from Ian._

_I leave her standing in the kitchen as I walk back into my room, slamming the door closed behind me._

_“Fuck her if she thinks I’ll let her take you…” I tell a non-responsive Ian._

_I run my hands over my face, wiping away the tears and climb into bed with Ian. Not knowing how he’ll respond, I wrap my arm around him, pulling him closer to me. His body stiffens, but immediately relaxes as he realizes I’m not going to do anything to him._

_“I’m not going to let anything happen to you Ian. We’re going to fix this, together.” Bi-polar kept rattling around in my brain and I tried to drown it out by talking to Ian._

_The room slowly lit up around me as I kept talking and I slowly realized it was morning. My mouth was dry and it was getting harder to speak. Ian and I hadn’t moved an inch. Feeling the need to piss, I got up and walked to the bathroom that connected to my room. When I was finished, I splashed some water on my face before walking back into my room._

_Ian hadn’t moved a muscle._

_I walked over to the side of the bed he was facing and laid down next to him. There was just enough room for me to lay facing him without falling off. I reached out and ran my fingers through his hair, staring him in the eye._

_His eyes seemed so empty._

_Trying not to fall, I shifted my weight a little bit, reaching down with my other hand to grab one of his. I held it tight, needing to feel his skin against mine._

_Suddenly, Ian blinked and started to shift backwards, almost as if he knew I had barely any room without my saying anything to him. He looked up at me and it was like he just noticed I was there._

_“Mickey…” he mumbled._

_“Hey Mumbles,” I said, a shakey smile crossing my face. I stretched my head forwards and planted a quick kiss on his forehead. “How you feeling?” I asked softly._

_I waited what felt like forever before Ian moved his lips again._

_“Mickey, I…”_

_He never did finish that sentence. Instead, he buried his face in my chest, holding on to my shirt like his life depended on it. Like he was trying to anchor himself to me._

_I wrapped my arm around him, holding his head in my hand, running my finger over the shorter hair at the base of his neck. I could feel his shoulders shaking and I clutched him tightly._

_“It’s going to be ok Ian…” I whispered in his ear._

_We laid like that for a long time._

_I noticed Mandy opening the door once, only enough to check and see if everything was ok. I locked eyes with her and she nodded her head before closing the door again. I heard voices in the hallway and knew that Lip was back._

_I kept catching words like “clinic”, “Monica” and “medication”._

_Fucking Monica. Right now I hated her more than I hated Frank. Frank was a dick, but at least that was hereditary. The voices moved away and I was left with my own thoughts again._

_“I’m sorry, Mickey…” Ian’s voice startled me even though it was hardly above a whisper._

_“What the fuck for?” I said just as softly._

_“For ruining everything.”_

_I couldn’t respond. How do you tell someone that they haven’t ruined everything and have them believe you? How do you tell someone that they are everything, that there wouldn’t be anything without them? How could I possibly say all the little things on my mind?_

_“Ian, don’t be crazy.” Mickey started. “I-”_

Mickey jolted awake from the dream, his heart pounding as he tried to push the memories of that time away. He couldn’t handle those right now. He blinked his eyes a few times, wondering what woke him up before he realized that he had his hand still in Ian’s. The events from earlier came flooding back to him and he looked down at Ian’s face.

The shinier had fully fledged and covered a good portion of Ian’s face. There was a bruise along the jaw too that would need some ice to keep the swelling down. As he was studying the face he cherished, Ian’s eyes started to flicker and the hand he was holding tightened around his own.

“Ian?” Mickey whispered. Ian’s eyes finally opened and Mickey watched as he tried to focus. Ian looked around for a bit before finding Mickey’s eyes.

“Hey..” he croaked out.

“Hey man, how you feelin’?” Mickey asked, wanting to see if Ian would tell him anything.

“Like I got hit by a truck.” Ian replied, grunting as he started to shift his legs.

“Hey woah, slow down there Firecrotch,” Mickey put his hand on Ian’s shoulder, trying to get him to stay in place. “You’re pretty fucking banged up kid. Lemme go get Fiona and you stay here for a bit ok?” Mickey waited until Ian nodded before climbing out of the bed. He turned around and planted a soft kiss on Ian’s forehead. “I’ll be right back, so stay put.” He ordered.

Mickey walked out of the room and down the stairs that led to the kitchen. He didn’t see anyone in there, so he headed for the living room.

“The fuck is everyone at?” He whispered to the seemingly empty house. “Ey! Fiona!” He hollered. When he didn’t get an answer, he found his coat and pulled his phone out of the pocket. He scrolled through the contacts until he found Fiona’s number and hit the button to call her.

“Mickey?” Fiona picked up after a few rings.

“Hey, where at you?” Mickey asked, walking back to the kitchen.

“Is something wrong?” Her voice sounded panicked and Mickey sighed.

“Chill, the kid just woke up and I was calling to see if there was anything you wanted me to do.” Mickey grumbled at her.

“Oh, how’s he doing?”

“Seemed ok. Tried to get up already, the shit head.” Fiona could hear the smile in Mickey’s voice and breathed a sigh of relief.

“I’m glad he’s up,” She told him. “Listen, I’m at work and I won’t be home for a while. Carl’s out with Lip and Debby went to Shelia’s to visit Frank. I left Veronica’s number on the table, but don’t call unless it’s an emergency. She said she would stop by tomorrow and in the meantime, she wanted us to give him a couple pain pills, but only if he ate something.” She sounded rushed and Mickey knew she didn’t have much more time to talk.

“Hey, uh.. What about his other pills?” Mickey’s question was met with silence as Fiona thought for a while about what to do.

“Jesus… Well, we have to get him back on schedule, so I guess we’re just going to have to skip a day.” Mickey rubbed his hand over his face, not really liking the answer, but knowing that they didn’t have any other choice.

“Alright, well, Imma go fix him some toast and try to get the fucker to eat something. I call if anything happens.”

They both said bye and hung up. Mickey walked into the kitchen, his thoughts swirling around his head as he made some toast with butter and got a glass of water as well. He walked back into the room to see Ian’s eyes closed and Mickey thought for a moment he had gone back to sleep.

“You awake kid?” The older man asked. He noticed that Ian’s hand was balled into a fist, clutching the sheet under him. “Hurting I see.”

Ian just grunted, rolling his head to the side. Mickey knew he hated laying on his back in the first place, but he also knew there was no way he was letting him roll on his side and lay. No chancing those stiches.

“Make you a deal.” Ian’s eyes opened a little. “You eat this toast, you get pain meds.” Ian sighed before trying to sit up a little. Mickey set the plate and glass down gently lifted Ian until he was sitting up enough to eat without choking himself.

After handing him the plate, Mickey watched Ian as he slowly nibbled at the toast. Ian caught his gaze and seemed to know exactly what Mickey was thinking. Not that that surprised him.

“I don’t remember much, so please don’t hound me.” Ian’s voice sounded strained and Mickey knew he was in more pain than he was letting on.

“I wasn’t fucking going to…” Mickey said softly. He reached up and cupped Ian’s face in his palm, sighing as Ian leaned into the familiar warmth. “I just want you to get better. We focus on that, then we kick someone’s ass, alright?” Ian just smiled and went back to nibbling.

A few minutes later, Mickey handed him a couple pain pills and the glass of water. After they were gone, Ian leaned his head back and scrunched his face again.

“You gotta piss, don’t ya.” Mickey said, giggling softly.

Ian weakly reached out and punched him in the arm before nodding his agreement.

“Ok, let’s get you to the bathroom before I have a mess to clean up.” Taking Ian’s arm, he pulled it around his shoulder, his hand trying to find a spot on Ian’s side to help pull him up without causing too much pain. It took some finagling, but they finally got Ian to the small bathroom and steady on his feet.

“Shit.. My thighs are killing me..” Ian mumbled to Mickey’s back. Mickey looked down, not saying anything while Ian finished up. They had an easier time getting Ian back to the bedroom, but he was panting from pain and exhaustion by the time they got him comfortable in bed again.

Mickey laid down in the bed, playing with Ian’s hair until Ian’s soft, familiar snoring told him he was asleep again. Mickey stayed for a little longer until he heard the door downstairs open and close. He got up and stretched, figuring that whoever it was would want to know how Ian was doing.

He slowly closed the bedroom door and made his way down the stairs that led to the living room, stopping to quickly piss. Fiona was just walking out of the living room and into the kitchen when Mickey made his way down the stairs. She turned at the noise, her eyes questioning.

“He’s asleep again. Took some of those pills, ate some toast,” Mickey told her, giving her the sparknotes version of the last hour or so.

Mickey followed her into the kitchen and sat at the counter, watching as she pulled out take-out boxes from her bag. She handed him one with a soft smile and put the rest in the fridge. Mickey opened the box and found a burger and fries; he thanked her and started to devour his favorite food.

“So tomorrow morning, we gotta wake him up early to take his pills. Hopefully that won’t be too hard.” Mickey nodded along as Fiona talked while cleaning up a few dishes in the sink. “I called his therapist and she said hopefully it won’t affect him too badly..” Her voice trailed off and Mickey got a sinking feeling in his stomach.

“There was ‘but’ on the end of that sentence, Fiona.” He said quietly.

Fiona sighed, placed the clean dish on the rack and turned to look at Mickey. There were dark circles under her eyes and he knew the worry was getting to her too. “Sometimes with traumatic events… The body goes all haywire and doesn’t want to listen to much. The therapist said that there’s a good chance that we’re going to have to start over.”

“The fuck you mean start over.” Mickey’s voice was an eerie calm.

He already knew the answer though.

“The meds he’s one and the dose he’s taking might not work for him anymore.” Fiona turned back to the sink, knowing that there wasn’t anything that they could do. She waited, letting what she just told Mickey to sink in.

Months. It had taken months before they had found the right combination for Ian. Mickey had hounded him every day, overstepping boundaries and pissing Ian off more times than either one of them could remember. He made sure the younger man took his pills, took the right amount at the right time. He learned what different substances did to Ian while he was testing pills. He went to every meeting, sat up every night, dealt with every. FUCKING ISSUE.

And now he was being told that they were going to have to start over.

Fuck the ‘maybe’.

Fuck that word.

No one ever meant anything fucking positive when they said that word.

“Mickey?”

He looked up and Fiona said nothing as she saw the fire in his eyes. She knew how hard she had worked. Hell, how hard they had all worked but she knew he had been there through all of it.

“I’ll be back.” Mickey pushed his half eaten dinner away and got up from the counter. He grabbed his coat and was out the door before Fiona had the chance to say anything. Sighing, she finished cleaning the dishes and went to go check on Ian.

~**~

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are always welcome! I try to respond to them, but even if i don't, they are greatly appreciated!!!

“I’ll be back.” Mickey pushed his half eaten dinner away and got up from the counter. He grabbed his coat and was out the door before Fiona had the chance to say anything. Sighing, she finished cleaning the dishes and went to bed, knowing that Ian would sleep through the night now.

~**~

Ian was wondering where Mickey went. He woke up and was all alone. He tried to curl on his side, but felt it pulling everywhere. Everything hurt and he felt so alone.

He heard someone coming up the stairs and hoped it would be Mickey, but felt disappointed when it was Fiona who walked into the room instead. Of course, that made him feel horrible since she was his sister. She just wasn’t what he wanted at that moment.

“Hey Fi,” he said to her as she sat down on the bed. “How’s everything going?”

“Good, except we’re all busy worrying about you.” She sat a glass of water she had brought with her down on the night stand, but held on to the plate with toast and peanut butter sitting on it. “I brought you some more food and water so you could take some more pain pills.” She sat the plate down in his lap and he thanked her.

“I hate taking pain pills,” He tried to joke with her. “They just make me sleepy…” Grabbing the toast, he took a few small bites and felt it hit his empty stomach hard. But he was hungry and soon finished the whole slice as he listened to Fiona talk about the kids and how they were all worried about him.

“They all wanted to come check on you but they needed to get their asses to school. I don’t think they all slept very well and then had to come back home early this morning. Lip had Carl, so that was rough for the two of them this morning.” He listened to her talk, but honestly, he wasn’t very interested. He just wanted Mickey back.

Fiona handed him his pills, along with his daily pill. She didn’t say anything about it though, and Ian took it like he always did. She was just hoping that everything would work out with his current meds and that they wouldn’t have to start over. She didn’t think Mickey could handle that again. None of them could really.

“Hey, just so you know, Veronica is going to come over later and change your bandages and what not. It’s not going to be until the afternoon so you can rest for now.” She started to leave, noticing that Ian did not really seem up for conversation this morning. “Anything you want me to get for you.?” 

There was, but Ian was too embarrassed to ask. He didn’t mind Mickey helping him to get to the bathroom and piss, but Fiona was a different matter. He figured he would be alright until Mickey got home. He shook his head and watched as Fiona left the room, heading towards her own. 

Ian lay awake in bed, staring at the ceiling. He really just wanted to be laying on his side though so he could pull the covers over his head and block out the world. Instead he just kept staring at the ceiling, feeling the world crash on to him. Memories of the other night (was it only 24 hours ago?) kept washing over him and he tried his hardest to block it out, but it was only getting harder to do that. 

Ian never noticed the tears slipping down his face. He was starting to get that empty feeling again. The one he had last time and felt the world slipping away around him. He hands gripped the sheets, trying to get a hold on reality, trying to anchor himself.

“Mickey…”

The world was slipping away again and he had no way of holding on to it anymore.

~**~

Mickey had been walking all night long. He didn’t really know where he was anymore, not that he was paying attention. He was still in the South Side, but other than that, Mickey didn’t give a fuck.

He was looking for Terry and couldn’t wait to bash his fucking face in.

The sun was coming up and Mickey was starting to feel his emotion weighing on him. Not one to really one to show his emotions, he didn’t really know how to handle what was going on anymore. He found a curb to sit down on and ran his hands through his hair. 

How was he supposed to go through all of this again? He thought his life was finally back together again, but no, leave it to fucking Terry to fuck things all up again. 

He wasn’t taking it anymore. He wasn’t going to sit by and let his “father” do this to him anymore. 

“Mickey?” He heard his name being called but didn’t look up. He didn’t care who in the world wanted him at this time. For all he cared, everyone could go fuck themselves. 

“Hey, Asshole!” Mickey finally raised his head and came face to face with his sister. “Where the fuck have you been?” She demanded of him.

“Why the fuck does it matter to you?” He told her, turning away.

“It matters because I just left the Gallagher house and you weren’t there. I heard what happened to Ian and stopped by to see if everything was ok. So of course it fucking matter.” Mandy dropped down on the curb next to Mickey, her hands clasped together in front of her. 

“What are you doin’ out here instead of being back at the house?” She asked quietly.

“Looking for the walking pile of shit we call a father,” Mickey told her, his hands shaking as he moved them up to his face. “He’s the one that did this. That caused all of this to fucking happen. He ain’t getting away with it this time.” 

Mandy sighed, knowing that there wasn’t much she could say to get Mickey off of the war path. Their dad had had it coming for a long time and this was the last straw, even for her. “Look, I get it. He’s my friend and family too, but who do you think needs to more right now?”

That got Mickey’s attention and he turned to look at her.

“There will be other days when you can beat that shit out of that shit head and I’ll help you do it too,” She grabbed one of Mickey’s hands and held on tightly, her knuckles turning white. “His day will come, but tell me: is it today? Or is there someone who fucking needs you more right now?”

Neither one of them said anything. Instead, they just kept staring at each other and Mandy slowly watched the bloodlust drain out of Mickey’s eyes. His shoulders slumped as the will to fight slowly left him and his hands quit shaking.

“Go. Quit being a pussy. You have someone to take care of.” Without saying another word, Mandy let go of Mickey’s hand, stood up, and started walking in the direction of their home. Mickey watched her leave, knowing that someone had his back when the day came.

She was right, there was someone more important to worry about right now than his shit head of a father.

Mickey stood up and started making his way back to the place where he belonged.

~**~

Lip looked up from the counter when he heard the back door opening. Veronica and Kevin walked in, Kevin carrying a baby carrier in each hand. 

“Hey guys, how’s it going?” He asked, going back to pouring milk in his bowl of cereal.

“Aren’t you supposed to be at school?” V asked, setting a few bags and her purse down on the kitchen table. 

“Nah, no classes on Fridays for me. How’re the kids?”

“They shit a lot but at least they sleep through the night.” Kevin said, smiling as he made his way to the living room. “You see Mickey today? He never showed up at the bar last night for his cut. I brought it with me though.” On that last note, he reached into his pocket and pulled out an envelope, setting it down on the coffee table.

“Haven’t seen him since last night.” Fiona said, walking down the stairs.

“Wait, he isn’t with Ian? I’m surprised he even left.” Lip commented, his eyebrows raised as he dropped his spoon back into the bowl.

“He left late and never came back. He was pretty upset after everything that happened,” Fiona stopped and looked over at Lip. “Well, especially after I told him about Ian’s mentality.” They shared a knowing look and both sighed.

“I’m sure he’ll turn up soon. God knows he can’t be away from Ian too long.” Kevin tried to joke, wanting to lighten up the mood.

A silence fell on the group, each of them looking down or away at something, not really knowing what to say. 

Finally, Lip broke the silence by walking over to the sink and placing his bowl on the already precariously stacked pile of dishes. “You gonna need help?” 

Veronica looked up at him and nodded her head. They all knew why she and Kevin were really there. “Thank you Lip.”

Lip and Veronica gathered up a few supplies and went up the back stairs while Fiona walked into the living room and started making faces at the twins. Lip reached Ian’s door and gently knocked on it. Not receiving an answer, he opened the door and saw his brother, laying on his back staring at the ceiling through half open eyes. 

“Hey Ian,” Lip whispered. Clearing his throat, he tried again. “Hey, Ian. Veronica is here to change your bandages. That sound ok?” Ian didn’t move or say anything. Lip felt his heart clutch, but just moved over to the side of the bed and set the few things he was carrying on top of the blanket. “I’m going to get behind you and sit you up, ok?” 

Not waiting for an answer this time, Lip got on the bed and forced his way behind Ian, trying to get him to sit up enough so Veronica would be able to work on him. No one said anything as Veronica slowly started to change the bandages that covered most of Ian’s body. 

When all of the bandages were replaced, Lip crawled out from behind Ian and laid him back down. Veronica gathered her few materials as Lip balled up the used bandages to throw away once he made it downstairs. Before leaving the room, Lip turned around to look at his younger brother, the one who he had gone through so many things with. He sighed, ruffling his hair, knowing that this was just one more thing to add to the growing list of things that made his life a shit-fest. 

Lip watched as Ian continued to stare at the ceiling, the sinking feeling in his stomach growing. The way Ian was acting could only mean one thing, and that meant another hard few months ahead. “Why did you have to be the one to take after Monica…” Lip mused out loud. His brother, who was already going through so much in his life at such a young age, had to be the one to take after their shit faced mother. 

“We’ll get you figured out again, I promise you that. No one is going to leave you…” He trailed off, knowing that one person who should be here was definitely not. Before heading downstairs to grab his stuff to go to school, Lip took one last look at his brother before grabbing the door handle and slowly shutting the door. 

“Mickey… Where are you…”

~**~

The front door opened and closed. Fiona, in the kitchen, listened to the scuffle of feet as shoes were kicked off and a coat was hung up. She continued to drink her coffee, assuming it was just one of the kids home from school or something. She was taking a much needed break from life before she had to go to work and was going to enjoy her coffee for once.

“Hey…uh.. How’s Ian.?”

Fiona almost dropped her mug as Mickey’s voice came from behind her, startling her. Even though he was at the house all the time, she still had a hard time getting used to him just walking in whenever he felt like. 

“Oh, look who decided to come back to the shit storm.” Fiona sets her coffee mug down, sarcasm dripping from her tongue. “Find your father? Rip his head off? I sure hope you did after running off last night.”

“Look, I just had some shit to take care of, alright?” Mickey tries to explain.

“Save it. I really don’t care right now. You want to know why?” Fiona gets real close to Mickey, her voice like venom as it lowers. “I know what’s important to me. I know what matters and what doesn’t. And right now, the only thing I care about is my family, and especially about my little brother getting better. If you really care about him, you would be up there right now instead of chasing after your ass of a father.”

With that, Fiona turned away, grabbed her coat, and headed out the door for work. “There are instructions on the table upstairs if you feel like sticking around. If you’re going out on another manhunt again tonight, at least wait until someone gets home to take care of Ian.” The door slammed shut and Mickey felt it shake his very bones.

He sighed before running his hand through his hair and glanced at the stairs to his left. Knowing what he needed to do, he started up them and found his way to the bedroom door. He quietly eased it open and took in the sight before him. Taking a shaky breath, he looked at Ian, staring blankly at the ceiling.

“Hey F-Firecrotch,” Mickey stammered. Ian didn’t respond. Mickey walked over to the side of the bed and picked up Ian’s hand; it felt like ice. “Ian..?” he asked tentatively.

Mickey stayed like that for a few minutes, hoping beyond hope that Ian would just turn to look at him. He reached out with his other hand to brush Ian’s hair; some of it had fallen into his face and he felt compelled to move it. Worrying his bottom lip with his teeth, he tried to think of something to say, but nothing would come to him.

Giving in to what he really wanted to do, Mickey crawled into the bed, trying not to jostle Ian too badly. He laid his head next to Ian’s shoulder with one arm draped across his chest, trying not to put too much pressure on the wounds he knew were beneath the bandagers.

“I’m back. Couldn’t find Terry though, so I guess it was pointless for me to leave. Don’t worry, I won’t leave you again,” Mickey knew he was rambling, but he couldn’t shut up. It was almost like he didn’t know how to keep the words pouring from his mouth.

“I kept walking around, baseball bat in hand. I’m surprised I didn’t get picked up by the cops. Mandy is the one that found me, told me I was being a pussy. Well, now here I am. With you. And you’re back in the void and I just don’t know what to fucking do anymore,” Mickey’s throat was getting sore but he didn’t know how to stop. It was like someone had turned on the faucet and left it running. Ian just kept on breathing and staring at the ceiling as Mickey dumped everything on him, feeling himself get heavier as he did it. 

“We gotta get you feeling better. I can call the doc tomorrow and see what he’ll think we should do,” Mickey was already making a game plan, knowing that they would need to get in touch with the Doctor who helped sort Ian out the first time. He still kept in touch with Ian to make sure everything was going ok and Mickey knew he would be the one to talk to about all of this. “That will be nice, right Ian? We can talk to him together tomorrow and find out where we need to go from here. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

Mickey was raised up on one elbow, looking down at Ian hoping to get some kind of response. Nothing changed. Ian kept staring at the ceiling, lost in his own world. Mickey was finally able to shut his mouth and got off of the bed and paced around the small room. He resisted kicking the wall, knowing that Fiona wouldn’t appreciate him putting a hole in it. The side table finally caught his eye, along with the pink paper that was laying there.

Mickey walked over and picked it up, unfolding it to reveal a list of everything that needed or could be done for Ian. Many of them had times listed and Mickey jumped down to the times that were close to the time it was. 

10:30 – Food and Pills

11:00 – Try and get him up, even if it’s just to the bathroom and back

11:15 – Pills in blue container

Mickey looked down and saw an orange bottle of pills and read that they were some kind of pain pill. There was a small blue container next to it, much like the one Mickey kept in his back pocket every day for him to give to Ian. He opened it to see a set of pills that were very different from the ones he was used to handing out and sighed, feeling his worst fear come true. Placing the container back on the table, he walked out of the room and to the kitchen to make some toast and get a glass of water.

On his way back up, he decided that tomorrow he wasn’t going to go anywhere, not even to the bar. He was going to spend all day with Ian and call that Doctor to see what he thought needed to be done. But first, he needed to get Ian to eat and take his pills. Mickey tried to push thoughts out of his mind of last time when just getting Ian to take a sip of juice was considered an accomplishment. 

Mickey pushed open the door with his hip and walked over to Ian. “Wakey-wakey,” Mickey set the glass down and sat on the edge of the bed facing Ian. “Time to sit up and eat some toast for me, alright?” Mickey expected Ian to just continue staring at the ceiling, but was surprised when he started to sit up a little. Mickey wanted to lean forward and help, but knew Ian needed to be able to do things on his own. 

When Mickey handed Ian the plate, he watched as Ian slowly munched his way through the first slice. His eyes were half closed and he never looked up. Mickey reached out and cupped Ian’s face with his hand, wanting Ian to just notice him, but Ian never stopped and just kept on munching. When he was done, he set the plate down on the table and started trying to get up on his own. Mickey jumped up and grabbed Ian’s arm, throwing it around his shoulders so he could help Ian stand and give him something to lean on.

Mickey kept the pace slow as Ian hobbled to the bathroom down the hall and helped Ian get his balance so he could relieve himself. Mickey tried to ignore the bandages that surrounded Ian’s upper thighs, knowing what he would find under there if he ever cared to look.

When Ian was done, he started to turn around and Mickey watched in horror as he stumbled and started to fall. Ian tried to catch himself, but couldn’t get a hold of anything. Suddenly, he was stopped short of hitting his head on the edge of the toilet by an arm around him. Turning to look over his shoulder, he realized that he was being held there by Mickey. 

“Gotta be careful, Firecrotch…”

Ian heard Mickey’s voice and felt a shudder run through his body. He looked down and saw Mickey’s arms wrapped around his waist with one reaching up to his shoulder, making sure he didn’t continue to fall. He felt himself being pulled up as Mickey righted him on his feet again and he tried to get his balance.

Instead, he felt himself slowly lowering to the ground, his legs giving out beneath him, but this time he slowly sat down instead of pitching forward.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long to update!! Been having some major writer's block with this story... I promise i'll be better......

Instead, he felt himself slowly lowering to the ground, his legs giving out beneath him, but this time he slowly sat down instead of pitching forward.

“Alright, guess walking isn’t going to happen right now.” Mickey managed to get behind Ian, pulling him against his chest. “We can just sit here until you feel ready to move again, ok?”

Ian felt his head falling against Mickey’s shoulder, a hand running through his hair. With every stroke, he felt himself finding his way back to the surface again. Mickey wasn’t saying anything to him, but just the simple movements of his hand running through his hair was helping Ian find his way back.

When he first sank into his depression all those months ago, he felt like he was drowning. He was so deep that not even light could reach him. All those doctor visits and pills later, what worked the best was having Mickey by his side. Somehow, Mickey was always able to pull him back to the surface.

Ian closed his eyes and Mickey felt him nuzzle against his neck. It wasn’t much, but it was something and Mickey continued his soft movements through the younger boy’s hair. He should have been there for Ian, he should have never left his side. Mickey knew that sometimes Ian needed someone to bring him back and he wasn’t there for him. 

Mickey could remember the phone calls or coming home late. Ian would be panicking, pacing, or breathing hard huddled in some corner somewhere with his head between his knees. All those times, Mickey had always stopped whatever he was doing and raced to Ian’s side, anchoring him, reminding him that he was there. Mickey was always the one who helped Ian float on the surface and did everything he could to make sure he would never sink again.

He wasn’t there this time though and Ian had sunk so far down this time. 

That nuzzle gave Mickey hope though and so he continued to pet Ian’s hair, hoping that he could bring his love back to the surface again and remind him how to swim. 

It was almost thirty minutes later when Lip finally found them sitting on the floor. One look at them and he knew that Ian was asleep. Mickey was staring straight ahead, lost in his own thoughts, but his hand continued to move through Ian’s hair. 

“Everything alright?” Lip asked, his voice shaking slightly. 

Mickey started at the sound of another voice in the room and looked towards the door. When he saw it was Lip, he relaxed and stretched out his other arm. “Yeah, we’re ok. He couldn’t make it back to the room, so we sat here for a bit.” Mickey looked at his phone which was lying next to him, and realized just how long they had been sitting there. “Got a sec to help me get him to the room?”

Lip nodded and bent down to support enough of Ian’s weight that Mickey could move from behind him. The two boys lifted Ian up, mindful of his wounds, and half carried him to the room. Ian shook his head groggily as he started to wake up and tried to walk so Lip and Mickey wouldn’t have to carry him. However, he cried out when he put weight on his legs and Lip and Mickey both stopped.

“Hey, you ok?” Lip asked, panic edging into his voice. 

Ian didn’t say anything. Instead, he just laid his head against Mickey’s shoulder, breathing hard. Lip glanced at Mickey and they met eyes. Both nodding, the each grabbed Ian in a way that one arm was behind him and the other was able to pick him up under one of his knees. Ian’s arms wrapped around their shoulders and the boys slowly carried Ian into his room and gently placed him on the bed. 

“I’m going to go get Fiona, and maybe V,” Lip stated quickly, rushing out of the room before Mickey could even nod. Mickey then turned to Ian and started trying to remove his pants and boxers. 

Ian whimpered at the fabric slid over his legs creating unwanted friction against his skin. Mickey threw the pants into some corner of the room and looked down at Ian’s legs. What wasn’t covered by bandages seemed fine, if not just a little bruised here and there. They were the same pale color Mickey remembered and covered in the same red hair that could be found on Ian’s head. 

Instead of calming Mickey, this only served to make him panic even more. If there wasn’t something wrong with his lower legs, it could only mean there was something wrong with his thighs.

Mickey stood at the foot of the bed trying to stay calm as he listened to Ian breath and watched him fall back into a fitfull slumber. 

“…do you know what was going on before you found them?” Mickey turned at the voices he could hear coming down the hallway.

“I think he was just helping Ian use the bathroom.” Lip’s voice grew louder the closer they got and Mickey turned as Fiona and V walked into the room.  
“Hey Mick,” V said softly before going to the side of the bed. “Can you tell me what happened?”

Mickey looked at Fiona and sighed as she nodded to him, trying to reassure him in some way.

“He woke up and I did everything you told me. Got him some food and had him take his pills,” He gestured to the side table where the plate from earlier sat with crumbs still on it. “He had to piss so I got him up and we went over the bathroom. He was walking fine, but I think he got a little dizzy after he was done. He almost fell twice and the second time we just sat down on the floor. Could have been too much for him or something…” Mickey sighed, reaching up to run his hand through his hair.

“We stayed like that for a little while I guess, til Lip came in. He helped me get Ian back in here, and uh..” Mickey trailed off, looking over to the younger man. Did he look paler than normal? 

“Hey, it’s ok Mickey..” Fiona reached over and started to rub Mickey’s shoulder, trying to get him to calm down. “V is going to look at him and fix him up as best as she can. It’s going to be ok.” Mickey closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths before continuing.

“He started trying to walk and put weight on one of his legs and about buckled beneath us. We had to carry him the rest of the way,” Lip chimed in from the hallway, noticing that this was getting harder for Mickey to deal with. Mickey looked up at him, a hint of gratitude in his eyes before he pulled away from Fiona to sit on Ian’s opposite side. He reached down and grabbed the younger man’s hand, pulling it into his lap where he ran his thumb over the knuckles.

“Fi, I’m going to have to take these bandages off, ok?” Veronica knew that no matter what her friend said she was going to have to take them off. She said it more as a reminder to everyone of what was underneath than for actual permission.

Reaching down in to her bag, she pulled out a pair of thin, silver scissors that could easily slip under a layer of the bandages and smoothly snip through them. She carefully raised Ian’s leg up and slowly started to unwind the bandages from around his thigh. 

After she pulled the last layer away, V and Mickey immediately tried to cover their noses as the smell slowly permeated the room.

“Oh god, what is that?” Fiona asked as the smell slowly reached her.

V turned away for a second, trying not to gag, while Mickey tried not to look at the area she has just uncovered, but was unable to.

The word was still carved into Ian’s thigh, held together by the stiches Veronica had put in, but the wound had festered. Yellow pus seemed to be oozing all over Ian’s leg and the smell coming from it was enough to make even Mickey feel like he was going to gag. Mickey released Ian’s hand and reached for the scissors Veronica had dropped and started to cut away at the bandages on Ian’s other leg. 

When he peeled them away, they discovered the same thing was happening to Ian’s other leg and Mickey felt his anger boiling up again at the sight. He could vaguely hear Veronica in the background ordering Fiona and Lip to go and get specific supplies while she reached for the scissors in Mickey’s hand. 

“…ickey. Mickey!” Mickey jumped, looking at Veronica who had been calling his name without him realizing. “I need you to let go of those.” He looked down and realized his hand was fisted around the scissors, much like he was holding a knife instead. He nodded and willed his hand to open, releasing them onto the bed. “I’m going to cut away the stitches, can you make sure Ian stays where he is for me?” She asked calmly.

Having something to do helped to calm Mickey’s anger and he nodded, grabbing hold of Ian’s lower leg to help stabilize it in case he started to thrash. 

“Because they are so infected, this is probably going to hurt,” Veronica told him, talking more to herself than to Mickey. “When was the last time he took any pain pills?” 

“Before we went into the bathroom. Couldn’t have been more than an hour ago.” Mickey told her, glad he was able to get Ian to take them when he had the chance. 

“Ok, that’s good,” Veronica looked up at him. “This might not be as bad for him then since the pills have had time to get into his system.” Mickey nodded, but kept his hand on Ian’s leg. Veronica started to cut away the stitches as gently as she could, using a pair of tweezers to pull them out and place them on the plate from the night stand.

It was a long hour later that Ian was finally asleep again. Veronica had drained, cleaned, and rebandaged his wounds as best as she could, but knew that it still would need to be checked on more often now. Mickey did not move from where he sat next to Ian as Fiona and Lip left to walk Veronica out. He felt sick. The smell of sickness was still in his nose and he knew he would never forget it. He knew that Ian was sleeping as peacefully as could be hoped in a situation like this. His breathing was even and deep and it almost looked like a small smile was tugging at his lips.

Mickey tried to be happy about that. He told himself that Ian was going to be ok, but he could not get the image out of his head, no matter what he thought about. Leaning forward, he picked up Ian’s hand and stroked his thumb over the knuckles on his fingers. 

“Ian, I uh…” Mickey started, trying to talk past the lump in his throat. “As much as I want to be out there givin’ a beat down to whatever sick fuck decided to do this to you, I’m still sitting here next to you… I don’t even know if you’re listening to me right now, but I just want you to know, I’m not leaving you again. We got through everything that happened before, we can get through this, right?” Mickey’s voice trails off as he remembers yelling at Fiona, telling her repeatedly that there was no way in hell he was letting them send Ian to some nut house.

Even when Ian got bad and found where he had hidden the kitchen knives and had almost seriously hurt himself before Mickey finally found him, he never once let Fiona take him away. Mickey needed Ian, he just never knew how much until he lost him. He had tried to act like he was fine, but deep down, Ian was the only thing that was good that he had going for him.

“You aren’t ever leaving me again Ian,” Mickey whispered. “Not if I have any say about it that is. We beat impossible all our lives, we’ll do it again…” 

Fiona found Mickey upstairs hours later before she had to leave for work. He was curled up by Ian’s side, gripping him as tightly as he dared. She did not want to wake him because, for once, he looked like he was finally getting some decent sleep. She knew he needed it so she wrote him a note and left it on the table for him to find later.

“Hey Fi…” 

Fiona jumped from the sound of another voice. She looked and saw that Ian was starting to wake up. “Hey little brother,” she said, reaching over to run her fingers through his hair. “I’m just getting ready to go to work. You need anything?”

Ian shook his head, and seemed to realize that he was being held by Mickey. “Is he ok?” he croaked out.

“He’ll be fine once you are kid,” Fiona told him, trying to banish thoughts about what time it was and how she was probably running late. “He’s just worried about you. You gotta get better so he doesn’t have to do that ok?” 

Ian’s lips tugged at the corners into a small smile as he shifted slightly in the bed. His smile grew a little wider when Mickey’s arms tightened around him slightly, just enough to notice. 

“Get some sleep, ok?” Fiona told him, kissing his head before walking out of the room.

Ian nodded slowly, knowing that she couldn’t see him. Taking a deep breath, he tried to snuggle closer to Mickey, wanting to be enveloped in his warm embrace. Feeling safe and secure, he fell back asleep, knowing that Mickey was going to be there for him when he woke in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry the end of this was rushed, i just needed to get done with this chapter and start on the next idea i want for this story. again, sorry for taking so long to update!!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a horrible person who literally had no clue how to write this story. I finally got an idea along with the time to write. I haven't been able to write really anything in a while so I do hope you forgive me if anyone returns to this story.

Mickey blinked at the bright sunlight that was streaming through the bedroom window. He tried to close his eyes and go back to sleep, but it was already too late; he was up and there was no changing that. Looking down, he gave a small smile when he noticed that Ian was curled on his side, pressed at close as he could possibly be against his side. Mickey picked up his hand that Ian was lying on, stretching some feeling back into his fingers, before running it softly through Ian’s red hair, smile growing a bit at the soft sigh the younger boy gave.

It has been a rough couple of weeks. Ian had dipped in and out of being infected in various places, needed help walking anywhere, had been pissy as hell that he couldn’t go downstairs yet, and Mickey had been by his side through it all. He threw insults right back when Ian’s temper got the best of him, wiped numerous tears away when things go to be too much, and did his best to bring a smile to his lover’s face whenever he could.

Realizing that things were really quiet at the moment, Mickey decided that the house must be empty. Everyone would have been at school today, and Fiona had work, so it was just the two of them sharing the early morning together. Ian started to shuffle a bit in his sleep, and it was not long before he was blinking up at Mickey.

“Mornin’, Firecrotch.” Mickey told the younger man.

Ian only smiled before yawning loudly.

“How the hell are you still tired,” Mickey joked. “You’ve been asleep since eight last night!”

“Fuck off,” Ian replied, smile growing on his face.

The two boys fell silent, and Mickey closed his eyes, leaning his head down until it rested on top of Ian’s. Ian sighed, running his hand over Mickey’s chest softly. Mickey’s own hand left Ian’s hair, trailing paths up and down his spine and hip. There were still bandages that were covering the worst areas that were taking longer to heal, but he could finally touch skin in most places again.

The boys enjoyed the silence for a few moments before Mickey wormed his way out from under the red head. “I’ll be back,” he said, pressing a soft kiss to Ian’s forehead. A groan followed him out of the door, and Mickey chuckled softly.

Reaching the kitchen after taking a piss, Mickey pulled a few items from the fridge, setting them on the counter top before making breakfast for the two of them. Ian had finally started feeling good enough to eat real food – at least things other than just toast – so Mickey had decided to make him a real breakfast this morning. Just as he was about to place the eggs in the pan to cook them, there was a knock on the front door.

Grumbling, Mickey headed to the door and pulled it open without looking to see who was out there. “Can I help you?” He stated, before taking in the sight of the person standing before him.

“Long time no see, son.” Terry growled at him. “Of course, you’re really just my new daughter, aren’t you?”

“Fuck off, Terry,” Mickey yelled, trying to slam the door shut. He had done his best to not go look for the man, stayed by Ian’s side every day. Now that Ian was finally getting better, he knew that there were more important things to worry about than going after Terry. Now, however, the man was standing before him, and as much as Mickey wanted to kick his ass, he knew he had to protect Ian.

Terry stuck his foot in the door, keeping Mickey from closing it, before pushing back against his son with all his strength. “Is that any way to greet your old man?” He said as he wormed his way through the door.

Mickey stood before him, blocking Terry from entering any farther into the house. “Get the fuck out.” Mickey stated, anger coursing through his every fiber. He knew that there was a bat just around the corner, sitting on the stairs, but he didn’t want to go for it because it would mean turning his back on his dad.

“I know that red head is still here and still alive,” Terry stated, bringing Mickey out of his thoughts. “Did you like the present I left you? Thought you might like my little message attached to it as well.”

Mickey only narrowed his eyes, not falling for the bait. There had to be more his dad wanted than taunting him. “He wasn’t hard to find in that little place he called a job.” Terry continued when Mickey said nothing. Mickey crossed his arms over his chest, staring his father down. “All it took was finding someone willing to go in and slip the faggot something nice. Didn’t even know what was going on when we dragged him out of there and tied him up. Course, his screams sure made us nervous. Wouldn’t want to get caught slicing up that skin you seem to love so much.”

Mickey felt like he was going to be sick, and knew that he had to get his father out of the house. “Get the fuck out.” Mickey tried again, hoping that he would just leave on his own accord.

“Oh, don’t worry, I don’t plan on staying around.” Terry told him. “Just wanted to stop by and let you know that I’m leaving town. Taking your brothers and going to set up shop somewhere else.” Terry went quiet, waiting for Mickey’s response.

When Mickey said nothing, Terry turned around and reached for the door. “Oh, I almost forgot,” Terry said, letting go of the door and walking back towards Mickey. “Svetlana and the baby are coming with us. Not that she really wants to, but you know.” Terry shrugged. Mickey said nothing and before he knew what had really happened, he was holding his nose. Terry was shaking his hand out, clenching and unclenching his fingers from the bad punch he had just thrown.

Mickey threw the door shut behind him as he finally made his way out of the house, blood dripping down his face from his nose. Bad punch or not, it still hurt like hell.

Sighing, Mickey made his way back upstairs and to the hall bathroom to try and stop the bleeding. “Mickey?” Ian called from across the hall.

When Mickey didn’t answer, he could hear footsteps padding the few steps to the bathroom. Ian could walk the few steps on his own, but he was still shaky on his feet occasionally, and Mickey was never far away anytime he got up to go anywhere.

“Who was at the doo- why are you covered in blood?” Ian asked, voiced taking on a confused tone.

“Just some fucker who decided I needed a nose job apparently.” Mickey joked, head tilted back as he sat down on the toilet after putting the lid down. Ian walked over to his injured boyfriend, reaching out to play with his hair while they waited for the bleeding to stop.

“How you feeling today?” Mickey asked, remembering that he had yet to eat or take his pills today. _Fucking Terry_ …

“Good. Better.” Ian smiled softly, leaning back against the sink. “I’ll be happy when my legs stop hurting like hell though.”

“Yea, I bet.” Mickey mumbled. They still had not really told Ian about his legs or what was on them. Veronica had managed to get her hands on some of those dissolving stiches, so that meant keeping things covered all the time lately. Ian had no idea what was under the bandages they had placed while he was still mostly out of it. Mickey was scared for the day that he saw what was…

“You there?” Ian asked, running his hand down Mickey’s face, thumb tracing his cheekbone. Mickey shook his head slightly, pulling himself out of his thoughts. “Here, let me see.” Ian reached for the blood soaked cloth that Mickey had been using, pulling it away gently.

Mickey groaned as Ian gingerly ran his fingers over the appendage. “Well, it doesn’t look broken. Not crooked anyways.” He smiled, leaning forward to place a gentle kiss on it.

Mickey stood up soon after, washing the rest of the blood off of his face as best as he could, not wanting to touch his nose more than he had too. “Hurts like a bitch…” He mumbled, drying off his face.

“You’ll be fine soon. Now come on, I was promised breakfast I think.” Ian winked at Mickey before walking back towards the bedroom.

Mickey ran downstairs and hurriedly finished breakfast, bringing it back upstairs where he crawled into bed next to Ian. The two ate in silence, Mickey running through what happened with his dad over and over, unable to get the thoughts out of his head. It wasn’t until Ian touched his shoulder that he realized he hadn’t eaten much of his food.

“Mickey, you ok?” Ian asked, placing their plates on the bedside table, Mickey’s food cold and mostly untouched. Mickey noticed that Ian had eaten all of his and had already taken his pills.

“Sorry, just keep getting lost in my head today apparently.” He replied.

“Mm..” Ian hummed. “Makes for a long day then.”

“Yea…” Mickey trailed off, laying back on the bed, arm out as an invitation for Ian to curl up next to him if  he wanted.

“I’m bored, Mick,” Ian said instead.

“How do you think I feel, having to take care of your ass all day,” Mickey joked, laughing when Ian tried to take a swing at his shoulder, only managing to unbalance himself and land on the bed next to the older man.

Ian turned to look at him, eyes brighter than they had been in days. “Thanks, Mick,” he said softly, leaning over to kiss Mickey softly. Mickey’s eyes slipped shut as he pressed his lips back against Ian’s, enjoying the feeling. Ian’s hand reached out tentatively, curling around the side of his face.

Mickey could feel himself leaning into the hand, his own hand reaching out for Ian, curling around his back. They both shifted a bit until they were more on their sides, and the kiss deepened, turning into something that they hadn’t shared since what happened. Ian licked along Mickey’s bottom lip, asking to be let in, and Mickey quickly opened his mouth, moving with Ian. Ian sighed into Mickey’s mouth, his tongue exploring his mouth.

Mickey used his hand that was still wrapped around Ian to pull him closer. A groan slipped from his lips as their crotches rubbed against each other for the first time in weeks. Ian’s breath hitched, and before Mickey could even enjoy the sound, his hips were rolling against Mickey’s.

“Are you su-” Mickey started, moving his head slightly.

Ian cut him off with a growl, rolling Mickey on his back and quickly settling himself between his legs. He used his arms to hold himself up over Mickey and reached down to trail kisses over Mickey’s neck, adding in the occasional bite. Mickey gasped when Ian hit a particularly sensitive spot, and Ian took the opportunity to torture Mickey, licking and sucking at the spot until Mickey was squirming. He could feel his cock harden, Ian’s own pressed against his hip.

“Wait,” Mickey managed to finally get out, pushing Ian softly away. “Your stitches,” he said when Ian’s face started to fall. “We don’t need you doing something to pull those.”

Ian sat back on his heels, and Mickey watched as his face continued to fall. Before he could put much thought into it, Mickey reached up for Ian, gently pulling him down on the bed next to him and pulling himself up to straddle the younger man’s hips. “I said I didn’t want you to do anything to pull your stitches,” he said, reaching down to press his lips against Ian’s neck. “Not that I didn’t want to do anything at all. Someone needs to learn to fucking listen.”

A smile spreads on his lips as Ian shudders under him. Mickey stretched out his legs until he lowered himself enough to press his hips against Ian’s, their cocks once again rubbing against each other. He could feel Ian arching up under him as he continued to attack his neck. Fingers twisted in his hair and he growled, biting and sucking a mark into Ian’s neck before moving down to trail his tongue over one of Ian’s nipples. The gasp he heard speared him on and he was soon licking over the other one.

“Oh god, Mickey…” Ian groaned, hips trying to buck beneath Mickey. In answer, Mickey ground his hips down again, their cocks rubbing together.

Mickey finally pulled back, sitting up enough to yank down Ian’s boxers as quickly and gently as he could. Ignoring the bandages, Mickey scooted down the bed until he could lay flat. Running his hands under Ian’s thighs, he wrapped them around to grab onto his hips and slowly ran his tongue up the shaft of Ian’s cock. Ian shivered beneath him, hands once again reaching for Mickey’s hair. Mickey gave a few more licks before taking the head of Ian’s cock into his mouth.

Ian’s hips buck slightly, trying to push his cock farther into Mickey’s mouth, but Mickey’s hold on his hips prevent this. “Jesus, Mick…” He said with a moan as Mickey’s tongue swirled around the head of his cock. It wasn’t long before Mickey was sucking the rest of it down, humming around the soft flesh.

“Mickey…oh, god that…Shit!” Ian moaned, unable to complete any of his thoughts as Mickey sucked him down over and over, tongue tracing patterns against the sensitive parts. “Shit, Mick, I’m gonna…”

Ian’s sentence was cut off as Mickey sucked him down even harder, hollowing his cheeks. He released his hold on Ian’s hips and let the younger man finally fuck himself into Mickey’s  mouth, his groan music to Mickey’s ears when he finally came, coating the back of Mickey’s mouth. Mickey continued to move his head after Ian’s hips came to a steady stop, sucking out every last bit of cum he could get out of him. He pulled off finally with a loud pop and looked up at his boyfriend, blissed out smile on his face.

“Yea, I definitely missed that…” Ian said, eyes closed, a smile stretching across his face.

“Sure you did,” Mickey teased, pulling himself up along the bed to lie down next to Ian. After a few seconds of groping around, he finally found the blanket that had been knocked to the floor, pulling it over both of them. He curled up next to Ian, head resting on his chest. He felt Ian’s arm come down to rest on his shoulders with his fingers in his hair.

“Give me a minute and I’ll do something for you, m’kay?” Ian mumbled, sleep already heavy in his voice.

Mickey only nuzzled Ian’s chest softly, not really caring if he got anything in return at the moment. Ian was soon snoring under him and Mickey closed his eyes, happy to have some sense of normalcy return between them, looking forward to when they could put this whole mess behind them.


End file.
